quote: children

  • We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. – Phyllis Diller

  • Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. – Ray Romano

  • There are only two things a child will share willingly — communicable diseases and his mother’s age. – Benjamin Spock

  • I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. – Nancy Mitford

  • Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. – W. C. Fields

  • The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. – Clarence Darrow