author: w c fields

  • Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. – W. C. Fields

  • If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it. – W. C. Fields

  • Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W. C. Fields