author: unknown
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Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division. – Unknown
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Proof: No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails. – Unknown
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Correspondence Corollary: An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory. – Unknown
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He’s your god, they’re your rules, you burn in hell. – Unknown
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. – Unknown
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If organised religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganised religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe. – Unknown
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When we talk to God it’s called prayer. When God talks back it’s called schizophrenia. – Unknown
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In the name of the Old Guy, the Kid and the Spook, Amen. – Unknown
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won’t get much sleep. – Unknown
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Sorry I wasn’t in church last Sunday but I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian. – Unknown
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Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. – Unknown
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Every one says that politicians lie all the time, and that just isn’t so! But you do have to understand body language to know when they’re lying and when they aren’t. When a politician rubs his nose, he isn’t lying. When a politician tugs on his ear, he isn’t lying. When a politician scratches his…