author: groucho marx

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

  • I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. – Groucho Marx

  • I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

  • Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. – Groucho Marx

  • No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. – Groucho Marx

  • The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – Groucho Marx