Quotes

See also a list of Quote Authors, and of Quote Tags.

  • My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions. – Elayne Boosler

  • Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself — like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. – Jean Kerr

  • Women are not angels. They are as foolish as men in many ways; but they have had to devote themselves to life whilst men have had to devote themselves to death; and that makes a vital difference in male and female religion. Women have been forced to fear whilst men have been forced to dare:…

  • Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. – Brian Johnston

  • Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable? – Carrie Snow

  • Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

  • Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Unknown

  • A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once. – Unknown

  • When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. – George Bernard Shaw

  • I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to. – Yakov Smirnoff

  • In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. – Rita Rudner

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx