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Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. - B. Johnson
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable? - Carrie Snow
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Anon
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once. - Anon
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do … Continue reading
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to. - Yakov Smirnoff
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner